The Fall of Coon
by eternal-lie
Summary: The Coon has been re-awakened, thanks to Butters, and he wants revenge on Mysterion. And even if it means taking it through his girlfriend Vicki, he'll take it. Rated M for language, violence, and of course, the smut. 3rd in series
1. Un Prologue

**I have to admit that this story was never supposed to happen. But then I started thinking about identities and powers... and I couldn't help myself. Vicki and Kenny need to face down their demon one last time.**

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Butters knew this was wrong; he had dug up what had been buried four years before, when they had been kids in fourth grade, and brought it to Juvie. It had made it past the guards somehow, stuffed in his backpack, and now it sat wedged between his feet, as Cartman settled down in the seat across from him. They were the only ones in the visitor's room today—it was a gloomy Thursday when the rain came down in sheets. But he'd agreed to deliver...

"You have it, Butters?" Cartman asked, voice low and harsh. He had remained relatively the same since being sent to Juvie. After the second trial, when he was convicted of Threats Against an Officer of the Court, Butters had started coming to visit less and less—he wasn't going to be going anywhere until he turned twenty-one. But it seemed once a month was enough to still be his lackey.

"I-I got it Eric. But I don't know why I should give it to you." The slight boy replied uneasily. This was so wrong... but he had done wrong things before. Back in a time they were almost starting to forget, when things were so simple and so complicated at the same time, and rather than acknowledge that there was bad in him, he made up an alter persona to deal with his anger.

"Because I could make a quick little phone call to your parents, and tell them all about Marjorine. How do you think they'd react to that, Butters? Think they'd kick you out? Or just 'beat the queer' out of you?"

He felt like Cartman had kicked him in the gut. Marjorine was his dirty little secret. He'd never really stopped dressing up as her, after he'd had to infiltrate the girls in grade four. No one knew—the evidence never left his room—but he knew that if his parents found out, they would disown him. Playing an evil villain was one thing, but pretending to be a girl...

"Fine." He pulled the dirty plastic bag out of the backpack, and shoved it across the table. "Just never—never—say that name again."

Cartman grinned, and pulled a red cape out of the bag, followed by a black mask. "Oh don't worry Butters." Out came a striped tail. "Besides, I knew that the Professor Chaos in you would pull through in the end. We can bury the evidence, but we can never get rid of who we are."

His words made Butters shiver. The idea that he would never get rid of Professor Chaos, and all the anger he represented... He didn't want to be that person; he wanted to be good! As good as Kenny and Vicki and all the rest of them. But he had these dark and dirty secret personas to hide. Professor Chaos was his anger, Marjorine was his female side... No wonder why Cartman wanted to escape into his own persona.

"You really want to be The Coon again so badly?"

He nodded, slipping one shiny claw onto his finger and staring at it glinting in the light with a fixed gaze that sent chills racing up Butters spine. "Yes I do, Butters. Yes. I. Do."

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I wonder... think you guys can beat four reviews in ten chapters?


	2. Deux

**So I guess I have to mention that even though this story has a lot of song lyric ring tones in it, none of them are mine. Even though I walk around my house, and work, singing them either under my breath or at the top of my lungs. lol**

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Stan smashed the pillow over his ears, trying to drown out the sound of his phone ringing, without having to wake up enough to hit the ignore function. But it kept droning on and on that stupid song Wendy had programmed as his ringtone _"I see you drivin' round town with the girl I love, and I'm like...Fuck You."_

Finally giving up after it started ringing again, Stan reached over and hit talk. "H-hello...?"

"Dude, wake up; it's Kyle."

What the fuck was he doing calling him at... one in the morning? "Make it quick; I was asleep."

His friend sighed. "Cartman broke out of Juvie tonight."

That got him awake. "WHAT?"

From the next room came Shelly's voice. _"Shut up you turd!"_

Dropping it down to a half-whisper, Stan continued. "Dude, how did you find out so fast? They wouldn't put it on the news yet—"

"I heard it on the police scanner. My mom bought it at a garage sale, and I keep it tuned to the Juvie frequency, He broke out like half an hour ago."

"Okay... but couldn't this wait 'till morning?"

"It can't." Kyle insisted. "Dude, they said something about Cartman scratching one of the guards. I think... I think he has his Coon costume."

Stan felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. Someone had brought him the costume. Kyle's testing showed the claws had special properties, like making him able to punch a hole through sheet metal. Cthulhu may have given the claws powers when they were a team, maybe not. But they had all decided the costume was too dangerous, and buried it secretly so that it could never be used by him again.

"Kyle, that's crazy."

"Is it Stan? If we go right now, we would probably see that someone dug it up. I say we call everyone together."

Now he was crazy. "No way dude; it's bad enough that Cartman's out, but I am not going to go chasing after him playing superheroes.

"Stan, if Cartman is The Coon, then the cops aren't going to be able to catch him; he'll be thinking like The Coon. We need to get together and find a way to defeat him, whether it's all of us working together, or letting Mysterion use his powers. If we leave this to the cops, Vicki and Kenny will end up dead, and I can't live with that. Can you?"

"...Goddamnit Kyle. Meet me in the clubhouse in my back yard."

"I'll call the others."

Hauling himself out of bed, Stan threw on a white t-shirt and jeans, then reached into the back of his closet and pulled out the tool belt. It had been a long time. They had retired after the mess with Cthulhu, and yet he knew they still hadn't thrown away their costumes. Because not only were they reminders of childhood, but reminders of who they had once been. They had been Heroes, and while none of them had saved the world as Bradley had, they'd still been pretty awesome.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _I'm not a perfect person ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Vicki woke to the creaking of the floorboards as Kenny moved around the tree house. "Ken... what the hell are you doing?" She asked groggily.

Two months before, her parents had up and decided to move back to Phoenix, planning to rip her away from her school, her friends, and Kenny. But rather than run away, or try to convince them to stay, Vicki had done the thing she'd been thinking of doing for almost two years; she called Deputy DA Melinda Weston, drew up an emancipation petition, and won against her parents. They'd moved into the tree house a week ago, when her parents had moved back to Arizona, and she didn't miss them yet.

"Go back to sleep, babe." Kenny whispered, leaning down and kissing her in the dark. She probably would have too, had the moon not broken through the clouds for a moment, and lit up a scrap of black on the floor. Black cloth with eye-holes...

"Why do you have the mask from your old costume out?"

He said nothing, but turned back to the old filing cabinet they were using as a bureau. Kenny pulled out her black jeans, and his grey long-sleeved shirt with the M logo she hadn't seen him wear ever, but was always hanging out of his drawer. He threw them on, and then from the back of the cabinet, he pulled out a dark-colored cloak. And that was when it clicked.

"Kenneth Samuel McCormick, tell me you are not doing what I think you're doing." She ground out.

"Kyle called us together, and I wouldn't go... but it's to do with Cartman."

If any name could wake her up... "What about Cartman?"

"He broke out." Kenny confessed. "He broke out, and he did it as The Coon."

"What do you mean 'as The Coon'?"

Kenny sighed, and sat down beside her on the twin mattress they called bed. "When we were in grade four, we were vigilantes for awhile—you know that. Well, Cartman was one too, until the BP Oil Crisis. He wanted to recruit Captain Hindsight using blackmail, while we wanted to raise money; the issue split us and Cartman turned on us, joining Cthulhu. Afterwards, we made Cartman hand over his Coon costume, and Kyle ran some tests on it; specifically the claws. When you wear them, they make you faster, stronger, and more aware of your surroundings. I think Cthulhu gave them those powers, but maybe not. What I do know is that we buried the costume, and now Cartman's broken out wearing it."

Vicki knew what Kenny wasn't saying. Cartman with superpowers was a more dangerous Cartman than the one she'd confronted at Stark's Pond when they were ten. This was a super villain. "He's going to come after me, isn't he?"

"I don't think so. If he's thinking like The Coon, he'll go after his oldest rival. Mysterion."

"You're going to go after him." Vicki stated coldly, getting up from the bed and snatching his mask off the floor. "You're going to put yourself in harm's way and go chasing after The Coon as Mysterion, aren't you?"

"I have to." He said forcefully. "I have to because I'm the only one with anything close to a superpower. I know being able to return to life isn't that great a power, but it's more than the guys have."

She stared at her boyfriend, half in his superhero costume, ready to go out into the night to hunt down the villain. It was the most selfless thing Kenny could do, and it could end up breaking her heart. If anything happened to him... "Go. Before I change my mind."

He pulled Vicki into his arms, kissing her forcefully before letting go, tying on his mask, and throwing on his cloak. "I'll see you before sunrise. I promise."

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _There's many things I wish I didn't do ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Kyle fidgeted nervously with the kite attached to his back as they waited for the last of the former Coon and Friends to arrive. Of course Mysterion was late; he'd probably had to explain the whole thing to Vicki before he could leave her. And he wouldn't slip out without letting her know he was leaving, because Vicki was still scared to sleep alone, and would freak out if she woke up to see he was gone.

"So are we still Coon and Friends?" The Mosquito asked, plucking at his wings absentmindedly. "Because I think it stopped being funny when he sent us to another dimension."

"If we have to pick a new name, we need to decide on it equally." Tupperware said absentmindedly.

Looking around the clubhouse, Kyle had to admit they looked more grown up than the nine and ten year olds who had tried to fight Cthulhu. Some like Toolshed and The Mosquito had only needed to grab bigger versions of the clothes they'd worn under their gear, while others like himself and Tupperware had needed to add on to their costumes or replace them almost entirely. And then there was the nagging absence of Mintberry Crunch and Iron Maiden. Timmy had finally gone to a special school in Denver, and Bradley... had never come back. And he was the one who should have been there. He had had real superpowers; ones they really needed right now. Dying and coming back was alright, but it didn't really give Mysterion any advantage over The Coon. Not like the power of mint and berries with a delicious crunch...

"We have one purpose; to catch The Coon." Said a deep, somewhat gravelly voice. Mysterion hauled himself up into the clubhouse, looking almost the same as he always had, except...

"Dude, aren't those Vicki's jeans?" Toolshed asked, chuckling to himself.

"I had to improvise a bit. But what I was trying to say, is that we should name ourselves after our purpose. I say we call ourselves Coon Hunters, agreed?"

There was a general murmur of consent, and then they all sat in a circle, aside from Mysterion. "If there's anything I should know, tell me now. I need to go keep an eye out for The Coon. I think he's likely to target my parents' house."

Kyle glanced around at the others, but they remained silent. "We just want to know if you think he has a target in mind."

"Me. I'm his rival, and the one The Coon despises the most. If it were Cartman, I would say Vicki, but if he's The Coon, it will be me. However, he might use Vicki as a means to hurt me. I can't die, so he can't use death to defeat me. But killing Vicki would just about do it. Starting tomorrow, I want one of you to always be with her. Understand?"

"Yes sir." Tupperware saluted stiffly, and Mysterion quirked them an almost-smile before dropping out of the clubhouse, and back into the night.

"Well, I guess that pretty much settles things." Kyle admitted. "Except who dug up Cartman's costume from Kenny's old grave and brought it to him."

Mosquito frowned. "Well, hasn't the only one who's been to see him since the hearing been... Butters?"

Kyle felt his heart thud. Butters? Butters wouldn't betray them, would he? No, not if Vicki and Kenny were in danger; he loved them beyond reason, almost like his parents. And he'd been hanging out with them for so long, he felt as much a part of them as Vicki and Wendy now. He wouldn't throw that all away... But maybe Professor Chaos would. If a part of Kenny was still Mysterion, and a part of Cartman was The Coon, then a part of Butters would always be Professor Chaos.

"Let's not assume it's Butters until we talk to him." Toolshed reasoned. "It might have been someone else who saw us bury it; I mean, we were in a graveyard, digging in Kenny's plot. That's not exactly inconspicuous."

Kyle hated to be the one to say it. "And if it _was_ Butters?"

"Then we'll have to kick his ass."

**

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I couldn't resist after watching the Coon and Friends arc bringing a bit of that world into this one. I love that I totally wanted Mysterion to be Kenny, and totally didn't think it was him. lol I thought of working this into Drama Never Dies, but it just didn't feel right.


	3. Trois

**Wow...I totally got distracted for three minutes while I was posting this by Criminal Minds.**

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Dawn was just tingeing the eastern sky as Kenny slipped back into the tree house. There had been no sign of The Coon anywhere in South Park. No attacks on 'rapists' or anyone else. In fact, the town had been oddly quiet. No vandals, no muggers, no kids poppin' tags... just an empty town. He supposed most of them had grown up, or left for the gangs in Denver. So it had been a fruitless night without sleep or his girlfriend.

Stripping down to his boxers, he crawled in behind Vicki, and Kenny wrapped his arms around her, kissing the side of her neck. Her breathing was steady and even; she was deeply asleep. He debated trying to get a few hours of sleep, or waking her up. It was the end of June; school had let out, and there was nothing they necessarily needed to do. No jobs yet; Vicki was getting assistance as an emancipated minor.

Vicki made the choice for him. Waking up with a yawn and a smile, she turned in his arms and kissed him deeply. "Please tell me you didn't wake up here."

"I didn't even see any danger last night."

"Good. I don't like the idea of you going out there. I keep worrying that this time will be the last time, you know?"

He knew; he'd died a total of ten times since they got together, and the last time God had hinted that there was a limit to the times he could come back to life. Whether it was a numbers thing, or an age one... "When it's my time to go, it's my time to go." He reminded her.

She snuggled into his chest. "I know."

"I was thinking last night... maybe we should move out of the tree house for a bit."

Vicki pulled back. "Move? Where the hell to?"

"I was texting Kyle while I was out. His mom's gone for a couple of weeks for a conference, and his dad would be cool with you staying there in their spare room." He wasn't going to tell her he'd already told Kyle she'd go.

"What about you?"

"I'm not going to be getting much sleep until Cartman's been caught. I can crash with my parents."

She pulled him closer to her. "And what about us?"

Them? "What about 'what about us'?"

"Are you going to come sneaking through my window every night, or will I be going over to your parent's house every morning?"

Oh yeah; sex. He was still thinking more like Mysterion than Kenny, and Mysterion didn't think with his dick. Mysterion was responsible, and level headed... "We'll work it out somehow."

Vicki sighed, and started twining her fingers through his messy blonde hair. "Thug it out 'til we get it right."

Kissing her deeply, Kenny skimmed his hands along her curves, and down to her hips, pulling her closer, grinding his erection into her just a bit. Vicki smirked against his lips, and taking her fingers out of his hair, hooked them into the elastic of his boxers and pulled them down. Exposing his need to her touch.

"I never want to lose you." Kenny admitted, gasping a little as she began stroking him with a practiced rhythm. "I will do anything not to lose you."

He slipped two fingers into her tight, wet heat, reciprocating the favour as Vicki laid butterfly kisses along his jaw. "I will never leave you; I promise."

Rolling them over so that Kenny was above her, he entered Vicki before she could say another word, and within minutes, they were both gasping and screaming out their completion. Resting his head on Vicki's warm chest, he caught his breath as she ran her fingers through his hair again, brushing the bangs from his eyes. There might not be a moment like this for a long time; they had to enjoy it while they could. They had to appreciate the peace.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _But I continue learning ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Kyle watched from the doorway as Kenny and Vicki made their way up his front walk. She was carrying a duffle bag of clothes and looked both content and lost at the same time. They must've had a roll in the hay before coming over. At the bottom the of the front steps, Kenny pulled her into a tight hug, and murmured something in her ear. Kissing Vicki goodbye, he waved awkwardly to Kyle before taking off down the street.

"Need any help with that?" Kyle asked, motioning to the bag.

"I'm alright." Vicki shrugged, pulling it up the steps and onto the stoop. "Thanks for letting me stay, Kyle. It was really cool of your dad."

"He thinks you're a good kid and a good friend, Vicki. He might even like you more than Stan."

"He's probably waiting for me to leave Kenny and start seeing you."

Probably. "I think my mom's the one you need to worry about. No matter who you end up with, if you're getting married, she'll try to plan your whole wedding."

Vicki laughed, but Kyle noticed that it didn't reach her eyes. She was probably thinking of her own mom. She'd given her daughter a lot of independence, then shied away from emotionally supporting her when she needed it, then made her choose between her love and friends, and her family. Parents weren't supposed to do that to their kids; they were supposed to be there, and care. His mom might be an overbearing bitch, but it was her way of loving and caring. Rather than filing a civil suit and then handing over the cash.

"So are you going to let me stand out here all night, or show me up to the guest room?" Vicki asked cheekily, pushing past Kyle and into the house.

"You know where the guest room is; you've crashed there before."

"I know; I could probably find my way around your house in the dark. But I just had to point out what a terrible host you are, Kyle."

Following her upstairs, Kyle watched quietly as Vicki unpacked the contents of her duffle bag into the bureau, and hung up a few things in the closet. Everything was as spick and span, and color-coordinated as his mother could get it, and a sharp contrast to the piece-meal and worn out contents of the tree house. She'd been sleeping on a second hand mattress they'd barely fit through the tree house window, keeping her clothes in a filing cabinet, using the woods as her bathroom, and showering at Kenny's house.

"I know it sounds crazy, but it's gonna be kinda weird to be staying in a house again." Vicki said absently, sprawling out on the beige bedspread, and staring up at Kyle with those grey eyes he knew so well. "It's gonna be weirder sleeping alone."

"Ike might come and stay with you if he has a nightmare." He suggested. "He usually does it with my mom, but if you tell him it's okay..."

"Kyle, you're forgetting that Ike is not only no longer a baby, but has had sex before. And with his thing for older women, I think him in my bed would be a bad idea."

"Okay... then if you need to, crawl in with me."

"Are you planning on keeping your hands to yourself?" She asked, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"I am, but I wouldn't hold me to my word." He replied lightly, earning a bolster pillow to the head.

"Why do I put up with you?" Vicki sighed theatrically. "You're basically the upper-middle class version of Kenny."

"Hey, I have distinctive qualities." Kyle grumbled in protest. "I'm really smart, and..." And well, that was about it. But he was different from Kenny; he loved her differently then Kenny did.

"You are so wonderfully persuasive Kyle, I think I might just text Kenny that it's over and spend eternity in your arms." She announced, melodramatically clutching her hands against her chest and swooning. Anyone who didn't know her would think she didn't take anything seriously—or at least not the fact that her almost-rapist was on the loose with superpowers—but Kyle knew better. This was Vicki's way of not worrying to death about her boyfriend. But later tonight, when no one would be around to joke with, how she really felt would shine through. And she would cry the way she did each time Kenny died.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _I never meant to do those things to you ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Kenny found Butters exactly where he'd hoped to find him; at Stark's Pond. They had to sort this out, and they needed to do it now, so they could know what they were dealing with. "Hey Ken—" Kenny didn't give him a chance to finish the greeting, before he shoved the younger blonde against the nearest tree, pinning him with an elbow to the throat.

"Did you give Cartman his costume yesterday, Butters?"He growled dangerously, unconsciously slipping into Mysterion's voice. "I want the truth, and I want it now."

"I-I didn't th-think he'd u-u-use it to b-b-break out, K-K-Kenny. Honest! He told me t-t-to bring it to him, or else h-h-he'd tell e-everyone!"

He let Butters go, and the younger blonde rubbed at his neck, gasping for air and close to tears. "I couldn't let him tell you guys, or my parents; it's such a terrible secret..."

"Butters, if your secret is that you dress up as Marjorine, we all know. Jason has some pictures." Actually, he knew that Jason jacked off to those pictures, and admitted to having a thing for Butters ever since Clyde and Token made gay acceptable among their group. It had to be okay, when it was two of the most popular guys. "And I think I have a copy of one kicking around..."

At this, Butters buried his head in his hands. "What have I done, Kenny?"

"You released The Coon, who's now probably going to target my loved ones as a way to get back at me. You knew where we buried it, Butters, but do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because those claws have superpowers that make Cartman faster, stronger, and more aware." Kenny said gravely. "We didn't want him to have that kind of power to use against us, or anyone else. We were protecting our town."

"And I've gone and ruined it..." The little blonde sank to the ground, tears rolling down his face. "It's all my fault."

Despite the anger he felt at his actions, Kenny couldn't help also feeling sorry for Butters. "No one's been hurt yet. It might be no one will be. Kyle is keeping Vicki safe at his house, and I'm keeping watch for any sign of Cartman. I'm gonna catch him, beat his ass, and then hand him back over to the police. I'm gonna fix this."

"A-and what can I do?"

He looked sincere, but Kenny couldn't help worrying that no matter how eager Butters was to correct his mistakes, Professor Chaos wouldn't let him. There was evil inside the bright and happy thirteen year old who still acted nine sometimes. Butters was messed up; by his parents, by his child-molesting uncle, by Cartman, and by just about everyone else he'd ever met. So there was no guarantee he'd be reliable enough to help.

"Keep your head down and your eyes open. If you see anything to do with The Coon, I want to know, Butters."

He nodded. "Yes sir." (What was with everyone calling him 'sir' lately?) And Kenny left him there, under the tree by the pond. It was getting close to dinner time; time to go back to the lonely tree house, and become Mysterion for another night. He wasn't feeling hopeful about finding The Coon—he hadn't started tagging walls with 'Who Is The Coon?' yet—but who knew what the fat bastard could do when he had a goal.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _And so I have to say before I go ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Lying awake in the darkness, Vicki stared at the bedside clock as it clicked over to two in the morning. Here she was in a proper bed, while Kenny was out there trolling for The Coon and risking his life. Mind, stepping out of bed was risking Kenny's life. It had only been a year since Kenny fell through the trap door he'd forgotten to close, and broken his neck. And there had been that time Kevin tripped while holding a pair of scissors, and stabbed his brother in the neck. That time had seemed to hold some impact for the oldest McCormick child; he'd started talking about death all the time, and taking drugs like Heroine.

Giving up, Vicki got out of bed, and padded softly down the hall to Kyle's room. He'd said to get into bed with him, and she wasn't going to say no to someone she could warm her feet on and tell her worries to. His door was ajar, and so she slipped inside. "Ky..?"

"Yeah Vic?" Good, he was awake.

"I think I'll take you up on that offer."

Kyle hit the bedside light, as shuffled over to one side as Vicki crawled in under the covers. Rolling onto his side to face her, Kyle propped himself up on one elbow, hand sinking into his red curls. "Something you want to talk about?"

"Well first off, my feet are cold." She said, touching her freezing toes to Kyle's warm calf and making him yelp. "But secondly... how's Kenny planning on fighting Cartman once he finds him?"

The redhead sighed. "I don't know—he hasn't said anything about it. I don't think even _he_ knows. It's going to be one of those 'wing it' kind of fights, and if Kenny can get the claws off Cartman, then he'll definitely win."

"Bet he wishes he had those ninja weapons you guys had as kids."

"Probably. But it was Kenny who threw a shuriken in Butters' eye when we were younger, and he felt really bad about it. That's why Butters is partially blind in that eye."

"He is?" She'd never noticed.

Kyle nodded. "It was an accident, of course; Kenny's just really good with weapons. But we stopped playing ninjas after that. Just like we stopped playing super heroes and villains after the Cthulhu incident."

Vicki thought about it for a second. "If you, Kenny, Stan, Cartman and the rest of the guys were the superheroes, who was the villain?"

He quirked her a smile. "Take a guess."

"...Butters? Really?"

"Professor Chaos. It was just a game, but I think it was also Butters' way of letting out all the shitty stuff people have done to him. We used to treat him like crap when we were kids, and his parents aren't much better."

"He's really sweet though, despite that." Vicki mused. "A little messed up about love and sex, but sweet-natured. But I guess everyone has a dark side."

"Everyone." Kyle agreed. "That's why Kenny keeps bouncing between going to Heaven and going to Hell, I guess."

"...Ky, have you ever wanted to do something... kinda evil?"

"Is wanting to kill Cartman evil?"

"No, that's like wanting to kill Stalin or Hitler—an act for the greater good."

"...I hoped my cousin Kyle would die."

Vicki giggled. She'd met Kyle last Christmas, and been beyond stupefied by the amount of _Jewishness _he'd exuded. It was almost embarrassing to the entire Jewish community. "Again, an act for the greater good. Kyle, I don't think you could be evil."

He grinned at her. "Good, because I'm more of a superhero anyways. What about you?"

"... I killed a bird once, when I was a kid in Phoenix. It had a broken wing and couldn't fly, and even though I knew it could be healed... I did what the boys told me to and killed it."

Vicki waited with baited breath; she'd never told that to anyone before. Of course, her guy friends as a kid had known, but she had never _told_ anyone... "Kids do shitty things sometimes." She let it out, relieved. "I think I might have killed Kenny once or twice. I don't remember."

"I know it's frustrating not remembering, Kyle, but take it as a blessing. Watching Kenny die sucks ass, because no matter how many time it happens, it still shocks you. Or in my case, breaks my heart a bit."

"But you won't leave him."

"Not for that. I love him, and when you love someone, you take the crap."

A glance at the clock said it was three in the morning, and Kyle rolled back onto his back to reach the bedside light. Vicki scooted under his arm, and draped one arm across his thin chest. "Thanks, Kyle. You really are the best friend."

"Anytime Vic. You're welcome here any time."

**

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Any of you ever wanted to do something...kinda evil?


	4. Quatre

**This chapter is deadicated to anyone who learns to hate their ring tone after being woken up by it a couple of times. I can't stand mine now.**

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Stan groaned at the sound of his phone going off. _'I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough... I'm like, fuck you, and fuck her too...'_ He needed to change that ringtone. And start turning his phone off. Giving up, he grabbed it off the bedside table and glanced at the time. Eight am was respectable. "Y'ello..?"

"Stan, why has Eric Cartman been escaped from Juvie for over twenty-four hours, and why am I just hearing this now from Bebe, who heard it from Clyde?" Wendy screeched. "And she says you guys all knew!"

"Wends, we weren't going to tell anyone because it's a lot more complicated than that." He tried to explain in a way she'd understand. "Cartman is only going to go after Kenny and Vicki, and when he does, we're going to catch him."

"And why not leave that up to the police? That's their _job_!"

"...Because they can't stop graffiti, never mind Cartman when he wants revenge. Remember that we're talking about the guy who broke into the CIA three times trying to get Kyle to suck his balls. The police don't know Cartman like we do; it's up to us."

Stan heard Wendy sigh on the other end. "I just don't want you to get hurt, Stan. You're not Kenny; you could die!"

"That's why Kenny's going to take him down." He assured her. "He wouldn't let the rest of us get hurt."

"Okay."

Hanging up, he stared down at his phone for a moment, before deciding it would be better not to call Kenny. If something had happened, they would know, and now the poor guy was probably crashed out in his room, or dead and about to wake up in bed. He didn't need Stan calling him right now. So instead, he hit speed dial one.

"Wuttime is't, dude?" Kyle half mumbled, answering on the third ring.

"After eight; you're usually up by now."

"Vicki and I were up kinda late. We couldn't sleep, so we talked for awhile..."

A decidedly female grumble in the background told Stan that talking probably wasn't the only thing they'd done last night. "Dude, you didn't seriously sleep with Vicki last night, did you? Because Kenny would kill you, then go down to Hell to beat your ass, before coming back and fucking Vicki to the point where she'll never want another dude again."

"GODDAMNIT STAN, I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH VICKI! SHE JUST SLEPT IN MY ROOM, OKAY?"

Overreacting much? "Okay, dude... Sheesh..."

"Ignore Kyle, Stan; he's just pissed off because he didn't think the 'let's invite Vicki to crawl into bed when she can't sleep' thing through." Vicki chuckled, having gabbed the phone away from Kyle. "So now he's sitting here, with me, talking to you, and Little Kyle is saying _'Fuck her, dude!'_ So you can see why he's acting like there's sand in his vagina."

_"WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE 'SAND IN MY VAGINA' THING?"_

"Shut up Kyle; I'm talking to Stan!"

Stan tuned out his friends' bickering for a moment, debating between asking now, or hanging up and trying when they weren't... whatever they were. Curiosity won. "Hey, guys? Did you hear anything from Kenny last night?"

"No." Oh great, now they were on speakerphone.

"Well I'm going to go see him later, so if you want to come..."

Vicki sighed. "Don't come 'til after lunch. I'm getting dressed and heading over now."

Apparently that was news to Kyle. "You're going to see Kenny? When were you going to tell me that?"

"I was planning on telling you when I woke up."

"Well I better go with you; you need to be walked there and home."

"You don't want to come, Kyle. Not unless you plan to hang out with Stuart while Kenny and I go at it in the next room. That sound totally, awesomely fun to you, Kyle?"

"...That's okay, Vicki; you go right ahead."

They hung up, and Stan sat there for a moment, staring at the phone. Really? _Really?_

_ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ That I just want you to know ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Vicki lay with her head on Kenny's chest, panting slightly. That had rocked. She had felt all her tension and fear turn to pure sexual energy under Kenny's touch, and it had driven them hard. She would have bruises, and Kenny probably had deep scratches across his shoulders. And people sometimes thought they were so sweet and gentle together...

"Vicki, I think I'm bleeding." Kenny chuckled, chest shaking under her cheek. "Did you have to grate my back?"

"You'd return the favour if I rode you like a racehorse." she grinned, sitting up and turning her boyfriend onto his side to look at his back. Sure enough, some of the stripes she had laid across his shoulder blades were bleeding just a tiny bit. "And it's no worse than a cat scratch, you big baby."

"I didn't see you patrolling the town all night... And don't even think of doing it, because I will drag you back to Kyle, even if it means walking past The Coon tagging a brick wall."

She frowned; why did he have to treat her like she was made of glass sometimes? Okay, so she wasn't immortal like him, but that didn't mean she was useless. She'd taken hard-core self-defence classes with Christophe Delorne, when the Mercenary had been in town last fall long enough to teach. She'd offered to pay him, but when he'd learned that she was dating Kenny, he'd insisted it was his gift to 'zee one who saved 'is life after zat fat bastard let 'im die.'

"I can take care of myself, you know. I'm not defenceless, Ken."

"I'd rather not take the risk." He replied, kissing her lightly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd fuck your way across the country, looking for someone who can keep up with you the way I do, and put up with all your shit. And you'd never find someone because no one is as awesome as me."

"Ain't that the truth."

_'And I swear, you're just like a pill, Instead of making me better, You keep making me ill...' _Vicki groaned. She'd probably be hearing that ringtone a lot more for the next little while. "That's Kyle; I should probably get going."

Kenny grumbled, but let her roll off of him, stretch, and get up to throw back on her clothes. "Someday, we'll have a house in the middle of nowhere, and then you can walk around naked for me all the time." He said lazily, watching her.

"Quid pro quo then; I won't be the only one freezing my ass off in our woodland shack."

"Who says it will be a shack? I think with a few years work, I can make a house worthy of that Queen of Sheba you keep talking about."

Right, and she really was the Queen of Sheba... "Whatever you say Ken." She sighed, and pulled her shoes back on, before getting pulled down into his arms for one last kiss before she left.

"Keep your phone on, your windows locked, and Kyle out of your pants." Kenny mumbled into her hair. She nodded, and he let her go. "Love you."

"Love you too. Get some sleep."

Closing Kenny's door behind her, Vicki found herself facing a worried looking Carol McCormick. "Vicki, I know Kenny was out all night, and if he was with you, you wouldn't have come over this mornin'. What's happenin'?"

Vicki couldn't bring herself to lie. Carol had taken up the role of mother since hers had left (even though she was more like a semi-responsible older sister) and had become the one Vicki went to with questions and for female support. So lying to her now would just be... really shitty.

"Cartman broke out of Juvie two nights ago. Kenny's been looking for him at night, and I've been staying with Kyle for protection."

"He doesn't think the cops will catch him?"

She couldn't help a wry smile. "You need to know Cartman to think like Cartman, and you need to think like Cartman to catch Cartman."

Carol nodded. "I can understand why he's doin' it. Not that I like it. But why's he keepin' you with Kyle?"

"Kyle's mom's out of town, and his dad's cool with having me there. It's not that he doesn't want me here, he just thinks Kyle can protect me better than Kevin when he's trippin' balls like always." She didn't even have to mention Stuart, who was slumped on the couch, drunk and watching Terrence and Phillip re-runs.

"Kyle's a good kid." Carol said, a knowing smile twitching at her lips. "I think the whole town's waitin' for you to leave Kenny for him. As for me... I think Kenny would understand if you screwed him."

"If I screwed Kyle, I'd never be rid of him, and I don't think Kenny wants to try being polyamourous. So I think Kyle will have to keep his V-card for now."

The older woman laughed, and suddenly, Karen's door flew open. "Goddamnit, can you two shut up? I'm tryin' t'sleep, and all I c'n hear is you guys talking 'bout Vicki cheatin' on Ken with Kyle. S'never gonna happen, 'kay? Vicki and Kyle's just fuckin' gross. Grosser than what I had to put up with already this mornin'." She ranted. "Oh, and would it kill you not ta make so much noise when you guys fuck, Vic? You don't havta goddamn scream!"

"Hey, watch your mouth; we don't take the Lord's name in vain under this roof." Carol scolded. Karen just scowled, flipped her mother off, and slammed the door.

"She's been hanging out with Ruby Tucker, huh?"

"Guess so. That whole family's a little fucked in the head..."

Vicki smirked, thinking of Craig's _pet name_ for her; 'Crazy Bitch'. Yeah, that was Craig Tucker being affectionate.

_'I haven't moved from the spot where you left me, This must be a bad trip, All the other pills they were different...'_ Damn Kyle... " That's my big, strong, Jewish body-guard. I should get going."

Carol shrugged, and surprised her with a hug. "You keep your eyes open; I don't want anythin' happenin' to you again neither."

"Don't worry; I got self-defence lessons from a French Mercenary bastard last fall." She quipped, and left the McCormick house thinking maybe she ought to see if Christophe was in town again.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _I found a reason for me ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Butters stared forlornly into his closet. Hanging in the back, where not even his mother ventured, were his other identities. Marjorine, and Professor Chaos; Light and Dark. Everyone knew he was both, it seemed, and no one had said anything. Why? Because they didn't care? Didn't think it was crazy for a boy to want to dress like a girl sometimes, or like a super villain? They thought it was normal to have that much light and dark crammed into one person?

He had to stop asking himself so many questions—they were making his head hurt. He needed someone with answers; someone who always knew what they were talking about... He needed Vicki. Of course; if anyone could help him sort himself out, it would be Vicki. She'd help Stan and Wendy with their problems, and Token and Clyde...

Pulling out his phone, he sat down on the edge of his bed and called her. "Hey Butters."

"Hey Vicki. I was wonderin' if you could come over for a bit. I-I'm having a bit of a problem lately, and maybe you can help me sort it all out."

"Sure, Butters. Be there in a few minutes."

He hung up, and stared into his closet again. Vicki could help him. Getting up, Butters pulled out the well-worn cape and 'armour' of Professor Chaos, and the dress, cardigan and wig of Marjorine. Laying both outfits on his bed, he thought of General Disarray. Dougie had moved to Seattle with his parents last year, and told him he threw out his old costume when he'd found it while packing. Why was it so easy for Dougie, to separated himself from General Disarray?

"Knock knock." Came Vicki's voice through the door. "Your mom sent me up, Butters."

Opening the door, he could see Vicki looked tired, but relaxed. "Kenny snuck into your room at Kyle's?" He asked.

"Nah. I went over there this morning. How'd you know?"

"You look like you're relaxed, and Kenny always relaxes you."

"Kenny always fucks the stress out of me." She grinned, pushing past Butters into his room. "You should see the bruises—"

Vicki stopped mid-sentence, eyes fixed on the outfits on the bed. "Butters... is this your 'problem'? Because when you said problem, I thought you were thinking of coming out as Bi to your parents. Not that I can't handle anything else, but..."

"I'm sick of living as three different people, Vicki. I don't want to be Professor Chaos anymore, and I don't want to have to hide Marjorine either." Butters confessed. "But I don't know what to do about either of them."

Walking to the bed, she lifted up Professor Chaos' visor to eye level. "Well... does Chaos feel like a part of you, Butters?"

"C-Cartman said he was—"

"Does he feel like it?" She asked, cutting him off. "Because Cartman would say that; The Coon is a part of him, even if it's like a separate personality, and so he automatically thinks everyone else is the same way, even if they're not. So, is Chaos part of you?"

He thought about it for a minute. He thought like Chaos when he was mad... but it wasn't the same as becoming him when he was a kid. Because he didn't do the things Chaos would have done. He might feel angry, but he didn't act on it... "I think Chaos _was_ part of me, but let him go when I got older."

"Then you're not really afraid of Chaos, Butters; you're afraid of being like him. And that's okay, if you remember that he's not able to take over you, like The Coon does to Cartman."

She handed him the visor, and Butters promptly ripped it in two. Funny, he'd almost forgotten it was just aluminum foil and cardboard. "So, Butters. What do you want to do about Marjorine?"

"I want Marjorine to be part of my life. It's not that I don't like being a boy, but I like being a girl sometimes too." He insisted. "The only problem is that my parents can't know, so I usually can't be Marjorine outside my room."

Vicki held up the dress in front of her. "Can I see you as Marjorine, Butters?"

He stared at her, wide eyed; Vicki wanted to _see_ Marjorine? "O-okay, Vicki."

Taking the outfit into his closet, Butters changed out of his clothes, and into the dress and wig. The light fabric swishing across his legs felt so free and comfortable... He— as she— stepped out of the closet, and Vicki smiled warmly.

"You look nice that way—pretty, really. And I think Marjorine should be able to have a little fun too."

"But how?"

She leaned back on her elbows, staring up at the ceiling, and thinking for a moment. "I think that next time we have a girls' night, you should come. Maybe not to one of the big ones, but with Bebe, Wendy and I..."

He couldn't hold back a snort at that one. "They'd never want me at one of their 'girls nights'."

"You think so? Maybe I should just... give them a call."

Before Butters could react, Vicki had pulled out her phone and called Bebe's number. "Hey Bebe, you're on speakerphone."

"Oh, are the boys with you?"

"Just Marjorine."

"Marjor—" Bebe broke off into a light giggle. "So the elusive Marjorine resurfaces. Someone should tell Jason; he's been looking for Marjorine for a while. Gettin' sick of just looking at pictures..."

Butters felt his face going red. Jason had a thing for Marjorine? Wow... "So Bebe, I was thinking that once Cartman's back in Juvie, we should have a Girl's Night In. Marjorine here thinks that doesn't include her, but I'm thinking..."

"So long as she doesn't wear those awful green bows in her hair."

"I think that can be arranged. The only reason I called now was to prove a point to her. But when they catch the fatass, we'll get together."

"Sounds good." Bebe agreed. "And Vic? Be careful, 'kay? None of us want you to get hurt."

"I know." Vicki sighed. "I'll talk to you later."

Hanging up, Vicki stared at her phone. "I swear, I don't know how I'd pay the bill for this thing without my emancipation money."

"Well you could get a job..." Butters fidgeted with the skirt of the dress. "I heard the girls who used to work at Raisins are opening up a new place called Peaches."

She rolled her eyes. "I think Kenny would shit himself. He has a hard enough time accepting that Kyle is hopelessly hung up on me."

"W-well, everyone still likes you, Vicki. Except Clyde and Token." Even he 'liked' Vicki. She had those nice soft curves...

"And Jason."

Before Butters could ask more about that, Vicki's phone went off. _'Don't wanna be an American Idiot, Don't wanna be under a new media, Can you hear the sounds of hysteria? The subliminal mind; fuck America.'_

"That would be Stan texting me. Apparently he's outside, and thinks he's gonna walk me to Kyle's." Vicki smirked wryly. "So I should go. TTFN!"

She bounced out the door, and Butters couldn't help watching her meet Stan on the sidewalk, and head down the street. He needed to watch; just in case.

**

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Read and Review SVP?


	5. Cinq

**So I didn't have any plan of writing from The Coon's POV, and then I realized that I actually needed him. I never thought I'd _need_ him. But when I started writing it, the words just seemed to flow into this scene... well, you tell me if it worked.**

**BTW... 512MakaylaTheSheWolf135, your review was really entertaining to read, because I was definitly not- and still not- planning on going in that direction with this story. However, you should write it; I would read it. Hell, I would probably Beta read it for you (and it's not just because yours was the first review on this story *cough cough*)**

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The town was caught between intervals of darkness and light as clouds slid softly over the moon; the moon that would be full in two days. The Coon hadn't had this good a night for moon-viewing in a _long_ time. Longer than his obnoxious, crazy other side had been imprisoned. They had taken away his outlet to the surface, and forced him to dimly watch as Cartman finally learned what lust was about, and became obsessed with its personification in Mysterion's girlfriend.

And it had been Cartman's poor planning that had gotten them into Juvie. You didn't attack someone when _they_ had made the arrangements to meet—that was how he'd fallen for the trap, despite getting a few good slashes in. No, you made sure you were in control, so that you could take your time, and savour every moment... Maybe when he had Vicki, he'd let Cartman out for a bit to have his fun with her. Frankly, The Coon didn't see what was so special about her. She was just a woman...

"More like a dirty slut." He murmured to himself.

Sliding down the fire escape, he made his was swiftly down the alley, staying in the shadows. He'd spotted Mysterion near the McCormick's house, probably keeping watch over his family. He knew Vicki wasn't there; she was staying with The Human Kite, in his house with its sophisticated alarm system. It was a shame, really, that he hadn't taken any lessons from The Mole about breaking in and out of places. But the froggy bastard had a grudge against Cartman for his death during the US-Canadian War, and wouldn't be persuaded otherwise. Gotten rather nasty when he interrupted a 'training session' he'd been having with... guess who?

"Mysterion's goddamn fault too. Probably had to pay for it on his knees like the man-whore we all know lies beneath the mask of virtue..."

Glancing up at the moon, he sighed. Maybe this revenge wasn't going to pan out like he'd hoped. It was just so hard to get revenge on an immortal! Killing Vicki had seemed like a good idea at first, but this was the third night, and he couldn't see how she would ever be accessible. A daylight attack was too risky, and more often than not, she was with someone else anyways. But she didn't leave the house at night; not even giving in to the urge to sneak out and find him that he knew she must be fighting. That girl wasn't a coward by any means, and certainly hated him enough for all the harms he and Cartman had caused her and her boyfriend. But now she seemed to have grown up enough to see sense.

So he would be better off switching his focus. Mysterion was more difficult to attack, despite The Coon's powers giving him the upper hand. Mysterion was strong fighter—with his training—and subduing him would be harder than killing him outright. Killing him meant that he'd have to try again. But he did know one thing... Kenny McCormick had a lot of scars from his deaths, meaning they did affect him in his rebirth. And everyone knew his deaths had slowed to a trickle over the past few years...

"I hate you so much, Mysterion...Kenny..."

He could paralyze him. A Kenny unable to walk was a Mysterion unable to pursue him when he fled the state. It was a Kenny unable to work and provide for Vicki like he seemed to plan. Paralyzing him seemed like a much better idea than killing Vicki. Besides, maybe Cartman could take the slut with him as a prize for finally taking down the arrogant sonofabitch. Having a woman to cook his meals, do his laundry, and suck his cock was a pretty good prospect...

Rounding the corner, The Coon smirked at the sight of a white brick wall. He'd leave his calling card... with a twist. Pulling out a can of red spray-paint, he took his time, and watched as his message came hissing out of the aerosol and marred the rough surface in front of him. It was beautiful in his eyes, and demonic in theirs. It was perfect.

_WHO'S BLOOD SHALL BE SPILT BY THE COON?  
MYSTERION, IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOU  
AND JUST HOW MUCH SHE'S WORTH  
THE COON STRIKES BENIETH THE FULL MOON_

Dropping the empty canister, he took off into the shadows. The side of City Hall was bold; bold enough that he knew his message would reach his target by eight in the morning. He'd make the town rabble, he's make his former friends quake, and he'd make Mysterion hand himself over without a second thought.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _To change who I used to be ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Kenny had just managed to fall into a light doze, when his phone went off. _'I don't believe it, It's almost too good to be true, I ain't never seen an, Ass like that...'_ Vicki. "Babe?"

"Ken, Wendy just called. We need to get our asses down to City Hall. The Coon left a message last night, and it's got the whole town going rabble."

He was on high alert. "What did the message say?"

"Wendy wouldn't tell me." He could hear a note of hysteria in his girlfriend's voice. "It's got to be bad, Kenny..."

"I'll meet you and Kyle there."

Getting up, he threw on street clothes, grabbed his phone and wallet, and raced out the door, past his spaced out brother, his snoring father, and his bewildered mother and sister. He had to get there fast. Had to see. It had to be a warning for him. A taunt... Or else it was a clear message about whatever The Coon planned to do. He ran as hard as he could, over the train tracks, past Clyde's, heading towards Main Street, and City hall at the other end. That once-imposing white brick building, now separated from the development of Downtown South Park by a narrow alley on either side. Drawing nearer, he could see a crowd had already gathered in front, including Kyle and Vicki. Pushing through to them, Vicki flung her arms around him.

"You are not doing it." She whispered harshly.

"Not doing what—?" Kenny's eyes caught red splashed across the right side of the building front. The Coon's message sprawled across white brick. It was a challenge, to meet him during the full moon tomorrow, and sacrifice himself for Vicki's life.

Over the top of Vicki's head, he saw Kyle giving him a look that said 'Don't you even dare think about sacrificing yourself for Vicki. She will never forgive you.' and he felt guilt rip through him. He'd already subconsciously made up his mind; this was between Mysterion and The Coon, so it would be really shitty to let anyone else get hurt because of it. Not his family, not his friends, and certainly not Vicki.

"If that's it, then I'm gonna go home and sleep on it." Kenny sighed, rubbing at his eyes. They felt like they had sand in them they were so tired. "We'll have a meeting later, and try to figure this out."

Kyle nodded, and steered Vicki away towards his house, while Kenny went shuffling off in the direction of home. He wasn't going to lie to Vicki, but he couldn't tell her the truth either. He needed to carry on as usual, and maybe she would forgive him when he came back. It might take a few days, or weeks, but she'd forgive him. And the others would understand, when he told them his choice tonight. Well, Token, Clyde, and maybe Stan would, being in relationships themselves. It changed everything, and that was the part that Kyle still didn't understand.

Walking through his front door, he was confronted by Karen. "Where the fuck did you go?"

"What the fuck make it your business, Kar?" He muttered, pushing past her and down the hall.

"It's my business when mom had to go to work freakin' out thinkin' sumthin' mighta happened to Vicki. So Goddamnit, tell me, Kenny!"

He stared down at his younger sister. Sometimes he still wanted to treat her like the baby, but then he'd remember she was now nine years old—the same age he'd been when he became Mysterion. And right now she was glaring at him the same way his mom did when she was around to do some parenting. "You know how Cartman broke out of Juvie? He spray painted a message on Town Hall for me; either I meet him tomorrow night, or he's gonna kill Vicki."

"He can't kill Vicki; she's with Kyle."

"He's broken into Kyle's before. It's a house, not a fortress."

Karen looked lost. "Then why's she staying with him?"

"Because..." Because Kyle was her best friend, and she trusted him, and Kenny knew that she would be better off there where she could have decent food, and a bed, and no Kevin hanging around, trying to catch her even half-naked. "Because she's better off with him. I can't protect her the way Kyle can."

Karen sighed. "Then maybe she's with the wrong guy."

Kenny felt his heart give a painful twinge. Even his little sister thought he wasn't enough for Vicki; that she deserved better. Slamming his bedroom door behind him, Kenny fell back onto the worn mattress. Vicki deserved a real life—not this. Not a shack in the woods, or an old clubhouse, or a tree house. She deserved a home, and a guy who could go off to college and get a real job so he could build a real life for her. She deserved Kyle; she just didn't know it yet.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone. A quick call, or a text, and she would be free to find the best. But he didn't want to be the one to do the leaving—he loved her. It had to be her choice. Pulling up her number, he started typing out a text.

'Do evry1 a fav & do Kyle. I think u need 2 kno. Remember I 3 u'

Hitting send was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _A reason to start over new ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Vicki stared down at the text Kenny had sent her. "Damnit Ken..."

She'd had another restless night, and had crawled in with Kyle at about midnight, finally falling asleep with his arms around her middle at about one in the morning. Then Wendy's call had woken them both with the hysterical news that The Coon had left his mark on the Town Hall, and they should call Kenny.

Now, she was sitting on the bed she had yet to actually get any sleep in, listening to Kyle's shower run next door, and thinking about that text from Kenny. _'I think you need to know...'_ Didn't she already know that Kenny was the only one she wanted to spend her life with? Didn't he already know that? Obviously not, because he seemed to think that all she needed to do was sleep with Kyle, and he'd steal her away. Urgh, why was it Kenny couldn't just leave these things alone?

'_Remember I love you.'_ Because he didn't think his love was enough. He had to prove his worth to himself because he still didn't get why she'd chosen him, and would always choose him. No matter how much she might like Kyle, or how close she was to her best friend. Kenny had her heart, and she'd prove it to him.

'I 3 u 2 & I think its u who needs 2 kno im urs'

Hitting send, Vicki gently placed her phone on the nightstand, and left her room. She had to do this, and she knew that Kyle would not only be willing, but would understand. Gerald was at work, Ike was with that Kindergoth kid, and they were all alone in the house. It was now or never. She slipped into the bathroom, closing the door firmly enough that Kyle would know she was there. "Vicki?" She didn't respond, just started shedding her clothes, until she was naked and shivering despite the steam filling up the bathroom. Biting the bullet, Vicki gently pulled back the shower curtain, and stepped in behind Kyle.

He immediately turned, staring at her with wide green eyes, fiery red curls soaked and hanging loosely around his head, alabaster white skin smattered with freckles now blushed with embarrassment and the heat from the shower. "Vicki, what are you—"

She shushed him with a finger on his lips. "Kenny has to know." She replied cryptically, before replacing her finger with her own lips.

Kyle's reaction was immediate. Arms encircling her waist, he drew her up against his chest, and under the steady stream of hot water. Vicki's hands caressed his neck and shoulders, before sliding down over his thin chest, and resting on his narrow hips. His arousal was stirring, and Vicki suppressed a tiny moan as one of his hands skated up her flank before ghosting over her breast. She responded by grinding her hips into his, drawing a slight groan from the back of Kyle's throat.

He was the one to break the kiss, hand cupping her face, thumb caressing her cheekbone. "If you want to walk away now, I understand."

"Kenny's not the only one who needs to know."

Reaching behind Kyle, Vicki turned off the shower, before pulling him out of the bathroom, and into his room. Bodies dripping on the carpet, leaving a wet spot where they landed on the sheets, Kyle suspended above her and kissing her like she was his oxygen. Not even rushing, which surprised her. She would have thought he couldn't wait.

"If I did it now, I'd probably lose it right away." He murmured against her lips, answering her silent question. Instead, he slipped a hand between her thighs, and ran a slim finger along her slit until he found her clit. Rubbing it with smooth circles, Kyle grinned as Vicki gasped in pleasure. Maybe he'd learned more from Playboy than she'd thought.

He teased her to the edge, mouth leaving love-bites across her breasts, and fingers plucking at her clit like she was an instrument for him to play to absolute arousal. Finally, entire body begging for real release, Vicki grasped Kyle's hardened shaft, pumping up and down expertly, vaguely amused by his being circumcised. Would it feel any different? Holding his gaze, Vicki guided his length into her entrance, and then couldn't hold back a groan as he pushed inside her. He had more girth than Kenny, and it filled her, pressing on her g-spot without any work, causing her breath to come in light gasps.

And then Kyle rocked his hips, and Vicki saw stars. "Ky...!"

He set a strong, relentlessly steady pace, as if each thrust was measured. Of course; Kyle was a perfectionist. But each thrust into her core was hitting all the right places, and Vicki could feel her orgasm building steadily bigger and bigger in her chest, while Kyle was starting to waver a little, jaw clenched and eyes shut tight in an effort to keep control.

"Ky...Let go." She whispered. "Just let yourself go."

That was all it took, and he was driving into her relentlessly, bringing her to the edge, teetering on it, and then crashing over it, the rushing in her brain too much to handle as Vicki broke down, reaching the place where she couldn't even hear her own screams, or feel Kyle's kiss. All she knew was that her world was Kyle and only Kyle for that one moment in time as he came inside her, bodies clamped so tight around each other it was like they were one person.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _And the reason is you ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

They had lain together in his bed for hours, until a text from Kenny informed Kyle the meeting would be at five—no costumes. He wondered if the reason Kenny hadn't called was that he knew he was in bed with Vicki. Maybe. He would have called Stan to ask, but Vicki had stolen his phone with a smile and a light kiss.

Now he was trying to get dressed, and not lose his resolve and end up back in bed with that naked goddess. She hadn't said anything about Kenny, or whether they would ever do this again. And that was the part that worried Kyle. Because as much as he loved Vicki (and now there was no doubt he did) he couldn't be the reason she left Kenny. And if that meant he'd never be with her again... so be it.

"So..." He paused in pulling on his socks. "Did you find out what you needed to know?"

Vicki shrugged, leaning up against his headboard with the sheets wrapped around her. "I already knew. I just knew if I never did it, I'd regret it someday."

"What about it would you regret?"

"Not knowing what it would have been like if I'd ended up with you."

If he'd been the one who went to check on her the morning after Matt died. If he'd been the one who'd saved her from Cartman... well, if he'd done that, he would have died. And that would have been the end of it. Kenny would have probably won her some other way, and all that would have been gained for him was an eternity in hell with flaming Satan. Funny, because Jews didn't believe in Hell or Satan.

"I'll find some way to get over it, Vic. Besides, you're kind of a high-risk girlfriend." He joked. "And I'm not immortal like Kenny. I guess that means you two really are meant for each other."

Vicki rolled her eyes. "Kyle, if you don't get dressed, you're gonna be late to meet the guys."

"And if you don't get out of my bed before Ike gets home, he's gonna be scarred by knowing his brother fucked you. Do you want him to never look you in the eye again?"

"Why should I care what your brother thinks about me? He's seven."

"Well... there's always the possibility he'll try to seduce you. He does have a thing for older women." Kyle reminded her, and Vicki responded with a pillow to the face. "Okay, okay, I'll get dressed."

Tugging on jeans and a t-shirt, Kyle couldn't help wondering if Vicki would even leave his room. Probably not. His dad hadn't even noticed Vicki was sleeping in his bed; his idea of parenting was knocking on the door right before going to work. And if Ike never bothered coming upstairs, she might even be there when he got back...

"You should get up too." He reminded her, and Vicki responded by grabbing the front of his shirt, and tugging him down into one last kiss.

"I will. I'll be up and dressed so well that you'll wonder if it was just a wet dream."

Reluctantly, Kyle pulled away, and headed out the door. Whether she would still in his bed when he got back or not, Kyle couldn't help feeling that tiny flame of hope spark up again in his heart. Maybe he still had a chance.

**

* * *

**

Okay, this chapter was a good lesson in stories taking on a life of their own as I write them. I didn't plan on any of this; Kenny just decided to be fucking insecure. (Though it does remind me of what my ex-best friend did when he was insecure about his relationship. He sent his bi boyfriend to fuck around with me... Goddamnit, Kyle's me in this relationship. Curse you critical reflection.)


	6. Six

**This chapter was hard. That's all I've gotta say.**

* * *

Stan couldn't help feeling that this was a very different group from the one that had met a couple of nights before. And it wasn't just the lack of costumes. Kenny looked like he hadn't slept at all, Token and Clyde were gripping each other's hands so tightly, they were leaving fingernail marks on each other's skin. And Kyle looked... well, he looked like he'd had a good long fuck, and judging by the odd looks passing between him and Kenny, he might have.

"Okay, so what's the game plan for tomorrow night? We're gonna ambush The Coon, right?"

Kenny shook his head. "No ambush, no plan, no 'we'. This is between The Coon and me, and I wanted you guys to know that. I also need to know that if something happens, like if The Coon decides to kidnap me, or I don't come back right away, you guys will take care of not just Vicki, but my folks too. Karen and my mom especially. I don't give a fuck about my dad, and Kevin needs the wake-up call, but my mom and Karen don't deserve it."

"Dude, nothing's gonna happen to you." Clyde said assuredly. "You always come back."

"Except that time when we were nine, and he had Muscular Dystrophy." Kyle reminded him solemnly. "You were gone a long time then."

"Would have been back sooner if Cartman hadn't drank my ashes, the fat idiot." The blonde muttered, getting up and staring out the window at the setting sun. "And it really sucked being Rob Schneider. Though he wasn't so pissy about sharing a body. Makes me wonder how Cartman and The Coon are doing..."

It unnerved Stan, to see his friend so unfocused this close to needing to be Mysterion. "Maybe you should stay home tonight, Kenny. Spend some time with Vicki."

"She's fine with Kyle. He's taking good care of her."

Apparently Stan wasn't the only one who sensed the resentment in his voice. "Well next time, don't send her a text telling her to fuck me!" Kyle shot back. "Because she did it to prove to you that only you're good enough, and that it's not about the sex, and that she's never going to be able to love me like she does you. So don't bitch about it when you started it. I know everyone kept saying it was only a matter of time, but I think Vicki would've never done it if you didn't tell her to."

They were all staring at him, open-mouthed. "D-dude... you—you slept with Vicki?" Token stammered out.

"Dude, I don't think that matters right now." Stan couldn't help telling him off. This wasn't the moment for the 'you slept with Vicki' thing.

"And how'd it turn out, Kyle?" Kenny asked bitterly. "Did you make her scream? Did she kiss you goodbye before you left? Has all I've been doing to keep her safe been wasted, because I really am not enough?"

"When are you gonna get it through your thick skull that Vicki loves you and only you and that nothing's gonna change that?" He looked like it was killing him to say the words. "She'd rather die than live without you."

The blonde looked like he'd been slapped. "See... that's one more reason she shouldn't love me. I can't always come back."

Stan had had enough. "KENNY, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, ACCEPT IT ALREADY! SHE'S ALWAYS GONNA LOVE YOU MOST."

"I can't accept it if it's what kills her." He whispered, and before any of them could say another word, he was out the trapdoor, and gone, leaving the rest of them there.

"He's gonna do something stupid." Token said in a hushed tone.

"He's not gonna confront The Coon; he hasn't been able to find him yet." Clyde sounded like he was trying to assure himself, and failing.

Stan knew in his gut what Kenny was going to do. He was going to a higher power to talk it out. Whether that power was one of the angels in Heaven, or just Satan down in Hell didn't really matter. He'd killed himself to talk with them before, and though Stan hated to admit it, they gave great advice. He just wished Chef was still around to help him instead. Because it wasn't like the rest of them could die and go to the afterlife with their questions.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _I'm sorry that I hurt you ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Kenny just closed his eyes as he felt himself rushing downwards, below the earth's surface, below the mantel, straight to the core. So Hell it was this time. That was fine; Satan was better for the relationship advice. If he didn't know it, he knew someone who did. If you kept your eyes closed on the way down, it wasn't so bad anyways. So long as you forgot the maelstrom of dead souls you were spiralling around in...

Landing a little hard on the rough ground, Kenny open his eyes to see Satan's yellow ones. "Hey dude."

"Hey Kenny; what was it this time?"

"Shot myself. I need some advice before talking to Vicki. I think I really screwed up this time."

Sighing, Satan hauled him to his feet. "What did you do?"

As they headed for the fortress, Kenny filled him in on everything that had happened since the night Cartman broke out of Juvie, up to leaving the clubhouse. "... and so I don't know if I should end it all to keep her safe for good, or be the selfish bastard that gets her killed."

Sitting down on the well-worn floral patterned couch, Satan gave Kenny a searching look. "Do you love Vicki enough to trust her to do the right thing?"

"Yeah, I—"

"Not just for herself, but for you both? Because all I'm hearing Kenny is how much you're doing to protect her; maybe she needs to protect herself."

"I can't let her die!" Kenny protested. "I don't know what I'd do without her!"

Satan smirked. "Then there's your answer. If you don't know what you would do without her, then you can't live without her. So you just have to stay with her and trust she won't get killed."

Kenny felt like he'd been outwitted. Goddamnit if Satan didn't need to tell him what he didn't want to hear. That he couldn't control this, and needed to have a little faith that things would turn out okay. That he couldn't save her from fate, if such a thing existed.

"If God lets Vicki get hurt again, then he really is a cock-sucking asshole."

"Oh, he is. He definitely is."

... "Damnit Satan, I didn't want to know that!" God and Satan? That was just wrong on so many levels. And of course the big red bastard was laughing his ass off.

"FATHER, THAT SHITHOLE SADDAM IS AT THE DOOR!" Damien's high-pitched voice rang through the fortress, and he entered the room just as Satan's laughter was dying down. "Should I—Oh, hey Kenny."

Kenny sent the Prince of Darkness' son a nod. The kid may have grown about a foot taller since grade three, and was probably a better person overall, but Kenny still resented being turned into a platypus. "So what should I do about the little shit?" Damien asked his father.

"I'll handle it..."

Satan strode out of the room with head held high, but Kenny would have bet five dollars Saddam Hussein would find a way to win over his ex for a bit. Again. "I thought he was in purgatory."

"He was. Apparently you can get kicked out of purgatory if you're bad enough." There was a moment of awkward silence. "... So how's your woman?"

That wasn't something the demon asked often."Probably fucking my best friend. But I asked her to, so it's not like she's doing anything wrong."

"If your woman's in bed with another man, something's wrong. What I'm wondering is what the fuck are you doing down here talking to my father, instead of her?"

Why was it everyone seemed to know what he should be doing but him? "Don't you have someone to torture?"

"I am." The young demon grinned, and if he'd been human like him, Kenny would have beat his ass right then. But he wasn't, and Satan was coming back in saying he should probably get going. And before he could argue, he was rushing upwards and outwards, being squeezed through the universe...

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _It's something I must live with every day ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Vicki woke up with warm arms curled around her, and for a moment, couldn't remember where she was. Was it the tree house? Kenny's place? Kyle's bed? And then she remembered that she'd finally managed to fall asleep in the Broflovskis' guest room after jumping Kyle when he came home. Apparently Gerald had been really tied up at the office... meaning he was probably with Randy and Stuart at the bar. Ike had gone back out with that Kindergoth kid... But then she'd come back to her own room and fallen asleep without Kyle. So either he'd snuck in without waking her, or...

Rolling over, she found herself facing blonde hair and tan skin lightly freckled across the nose. Kenny. He must have died last night like Kyle had predicted he would. Idiot had probably killed himself to get a break for a night. Vicki thought about waking him up to have 'the big talk' that she knew was coming. But he looked like he was finally getting some rest, and she wasn't about to get in the way of that. Besides, it would give her a few minutes peace before all hell broke loose.

"Vic..?" Kyle's voice on the other side of the door made Vicki tense. She didn't want to talk to him until she talked to Kenny. So she took the coward's way out, and pretended to still be asleep. But he must have woken Kenny, because when she went back to watching him, she found herself looking into those clear blue eyes of his.

"You died last night, huh?"

"Needed to talk things out with someone who's clear headed about this shit. Satan did his usual pointing out what I already know and want to ignore. Damien asked me why the hell I was talking to them instead of you, like I should."

She held back from kissing his frown away. "If it makes you feel better, I can honestly say that despite Kyle being the best guy I've ever taken a V-card from, I don't love him, and I'd much rather spend my life with you."

Kenny raised an eyebrow at that. "Even though he's got a good family, and a real house you could live in, and a future?"

"I love Karen and Carol, and I like living in the tree house and I know you'll wanna build a real one someday because you're good at that. And you have a future too, Ken; you're building it with me right now."

"But if you're my future, then what do I do if something happens to you?"

"You don't give up on life." Vicki replied as firmly as she could. "No matter what, you move forward, because that's all there is. That's all there was when Matt died. And if I'd given up, I wouldn't have you would I?"

"But if you die—?"

"Then it's fate, and I was meant to go, and you were meant to find someone else."

He nodded, and leaned in to kiss her softly. "I'll stop trying to protect you so much, after tonight. I'm planning on getting the cops to ambush The Coon. They'll probably have to shoot him, but I'm not gonna be sorry about it."

"Do the guys know about this?" Vicki asked. Kyle had said there was no plan...

"They don't. I came up with it on my way back up from Hell. But it'll work, and then we can move on with our lives."

She wanted to believe him, but something said he was lying about this. She knew Kenny too well not to be able to tell. But she'd let it go; just like he'd let the second round with Kyle after the meeting go. He knew about it—she could tell that too—from the fact that she hadn't immediately jumped his bones. They would keep this from each other, or pretend they were at least. Because you couldn't be completely open about everything all the time, right?

"If he does die, I hope Satan lets his demons go to town on Cartman's ass, forever."

"You know there's no such thing as forever, right?" He just had to kill the mood.

Rolling Kenny onto his back, she pinned his shoulders to the mattress. "I don't know about that, Ken. I think we get pretty damn close to eternity together."

He didn't struggle against his girlfriend, just kissed her heatedly. "Maybe we'll break through this time."

**

* * *

**

I'm actually not big on the last scene in this chapter, but I needed it.


	7. Sept

**Happy birthday to my little sister who wouldn't be caught dead reading this.**

* * *

Butters threw another rock into Stark's Pond. Everyone in town was freaking out over The Coon's message, even though it only really mattered to them. The Coon was finally getting some attention, and people were trying to remember who the hell Mysterion had been. Funny, how they could forget after all the fuss they'd made about unmasking him. But maybe there was something else they were forgetting...

He'd have to ask Kenny sometime. Not now though; he was probably with Vicki, making sweet, sweet love. Unless she was with Kyle; word had spread pretty fast that they had hooked up, thanks to Clyde. Now everyone from Bebe to Pip knew. And Butters didn't really know what to think about it. Vicki was his friend, but that didn't mean he approved of everything she did.

"Hey Butters."

Butters felt his stomach give an unusual flop at the sound of Jason's voice coming up the path behind him. "H-hey Jason."

He had to admit, he'd been very curious about Jason's maybe kinda liking him. Or even just liking Marjorine. But no one seemed to know much more. Not that he'd asked a lot of people. Just Kenny, and Pip. Because they seemed to hear everything people talked about. But no one was talking about Jason; no one ever talked about Jason. It was like people always forgot him, even the class list hadn't had him last year...

"Friends all busy?" The brunette asked calmly, skipping a rock across the pond.

"Yeah. Kenny and Vicki are probably together, or she's with Kyle. Stan's got his hands full convincing Wendy her friends aren't going to die, and everyone else is busy freaking out about The Coon."

"Why? He's obviously after Mysterion. Whoever he is."

"Kenny." Butters replied. "Mysterion is Kenny. I remember because I used to play supers with them when we were younger. I was the villain."

Jason looked at him disbelievingly. "You? You're like the least villainy person we know."

"It was a game, we were kids." Well, it wasn't entirely a game. It hadn't even started out as a game to him, or Kenny, or Cartman. "We do stupid things when we're kids."

"Like dressing you up as a girl to get a hold of a cootie catcher." Another stomach flip. They were awfully close to the topic now... "But sometimes we keep doing those, 'stupid things' right?"

Oh... what the hell. "Kenny told me about the pictures. I wish I'd known sooner, before Cartman used my 'secret' to blackmail me."

"Blackmail you?"

"It's how he escaped. I brought him what he needed to escape, even though I didn't know that's what he'd use it for. But I didn't want anyone knowing I still dress up like Marjor—"

Butters was cut off by Jason's hand on his shoulder. "Why would you want to hide it, Butters? You shouldn't hide what you are."

He looked so sincere, it was hard not to think that maybe it wasn't so bad if Jason liked him, or Marjorine, or whoever it was Jason wanted him to be. "And if I'm both?"

"The only people who would have a problem with it are Cartman and Craig. And seeing as Cartman's crazy, and Craig's just a dick... I think it'll be pretty damn awesome."

Jason was smiling at him, and this time it was Butters' heart that flopped. Yep; he was hooked. And he might have let it slip... but his phone broke the silence.

'_I'm not perfect, but I keep tryin', 'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start...' _He read Vicki's text, and sighed. She wanted him to stay with Stan tonight. "Looks like my friends have decided I need someone to watch me until The Coon is caught. I'm supposed to go to Stan's. Just in case."

"I could walk you there... just in case."

Now that was a definite mild flirt, but Butters let it pass. "It's not far. I'll see you around."

Jason just nodded, looking torn between disappointed and hopeful. It was probably the 'see you around' that had done it.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _And all the pain I put you though ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Vicki watched Kenny walk to the end of the block, and then slumped down onto the chair she'd been peering out the window from. He was probably going to die tonight, and she couldn't help feeling restless. She needed to go out, she needed reassurance this was the right thing to do, she... she needed to talk to someone who knew about when to take risks, and when not to.

Pulling out her phone, Vicki scrolled down through her contacts until she found 'The Mole'. Christophe was coarse enough he'd tell her she was being an idiot, and charmed by her enough he wouldn't verbally attack her like he usually did others. It was best not to offend the woman you were trying to get a one-night-stand out of.

"Bon soir, Victoire." He _always_ insisted on calling her the French version of her name; Victoire. "You 'eard I was back in zis 'ell 'ole?"

"Took a chance. You've heard about Cartman breaking out?"

"Absolutement. Worried?"

He had no idea... "Beyond worried. Can I meet you at your place?"

A moment's pause. "...Let me get rid of ze British annoyance," Gregory, his roommate. They'd been emancipated a year now. "And you can come. Will you be bringing ze boyfriend?"

"No, he's busy right now."

"Excellent. I'll change ze sheets."

"You can say that all you want, but it doesn't mean I'll ever wind up in them." This was the problem with Christophe; he took the rest of his life so seriously, he became just as bad as Kenny whenever he could.

"You break my 'eart, Cherie."

"Funny, I was under the impression it was your dick that loves me so."

"...Just get zat beautiful ass over 'ere, and we'll talk."

Hanging up, she noticed Kyle standing in the doorway to the living room. "The Mole." She explained. "He's almost as bad as you, except he's only interested in the sex. And I have more sex than I can handle with just Kenny."

"Oh." He had _the look_ written all over his face. The 'so if you don't need sex, what was last night to you' look.

"Kyle, after tonight, we're gonna go back to our regular lives. And for me, that means having Kenny as my boyfriend, and you as my best friend. Because you are—you are probably the best friend I've got. And I don't want to lose that."

"Maybe you should have thought of that last night. Because I don't think Kenny's text said to have sex twice."

He was hurt that she had wanted to ignore what they'd had—what he'd _perceived_ they had—in favour of things going back to how they'd been. But they'd never be able to look at each other quite the same. Even she knew that. But he didn't understand that there would be others, and he would forget about loving her eventually. And unfortunately, she'd done nothing to discourage him.

"I'm heading over to The Mole's. He'll walk me home if it's dark when I leave."

"...Okay."

She probably shouldn't have been leaving Kyle now, but Vicki didn't want to handle it. There was too much going on right now, and for the first time since Matt had died, her heart was a mess. When she had herself sorted out, she could sort out Kyle.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _I wish that I could take it all away ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Christophe Delorne regarded the young woman sitting on his couch, sipping some of Gregory's tea while staring off into space. He was fond of Vicki, both as a woman and as an overall person. She was smart, and witty, and sexy, and even though she didn't seem to realize it, decidedly European in her attitude. The type of girl even his mother would have approved of. And she hadn't approved of anyone.

Crazy bitch. He was glad to be out from under her control. Woman had had a bi-polar attitude towards him. One minute she wanted him to have never been born, the next she wanted to protect him from the world and find strong faith in God. He blamed it on his Algerian Mobster rapist father from Orange...

"You know, talking about things works better when you actually say something, chère."

Vicki seemed to rouse herself from her funk. "Kenny's died eleven times since I met him. Seven of those times have been right in front of me. Tonight he's going to do it again—to keep me safe from Cartman—and I don't know if I can take it anymore. Even though I love him, I hate that he leaves me like this..."

If there was any way in which they all knew McCormick wasn't good for her... that was it. The dying—especially by choice—when she was the only one who remembered every moment, had to be to the hardest thing a person could go through. Even he, who's closest relationship was the antagonistic one he held with his roommate and 'business' partner, knew that. "Maybe you need to decide what is more eemportant for you. An 'ealthy boring relationship, or 'im. Because I know you could do boring with ze Jew. 'E cares deeply about you."

"And that's another part of the problem. Kenny has been so insecure about Kyle that he told me I should have sex with him, to prove to himself I love him... and I did. Now Kyle thinks we have something we don't. I mean, we're close—I trust him with my life—but I don't love him. I don't think I would have ever loved him—even if I'd never known Kenny."

Christophe resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. If it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have even tried to talk relationships or _feelings_. But part of Vicki's self-defence training had been psychological and emotional. So while he was normally the worst for this sort of thing, for Vicki he was the best. He knew her mind.

"Victoire, if you love Kenny as much as you say you do, you know what you need to do. You need to show zem both zat you 'ave made your choice, and will stick with it." He said decisively. "If I were you, I would take a vow of promise in front of all your friends."

She raked her fingers through her hair, and nodded. "If someone had said three years ago I would be vowing to be with someone forever, I would have thought they were crazy. But now...it's the one thing I'm not afraid to do."

He couldn't help laughing at that. "I suppose zat makes eet definite zat no matter 'ow much I try, ze erotic beauty zat is Victoire Monroe will never achieve _la petite mort_ in my bed."

"Christophe, no matter how much you could have tried to woo and seduce me... I know better than to get tangled up with a French Mercenary. Despite the fact that '_ze French are lovers, not 'aters'_. Besides, I've been with Matt-the-sex-prodigy, Kenny-the-sex-God, and Kyle-the-firecracker; it'd probably end up being me teaching you a thing or two."

He hated to admit it, but maybe she was right. Maybe Vicki was too much woman for him. "I s'pose I'll go back to taking foreign V-cards from ze lovely daughters of Europe."

He was glad to hear her laugh at that. "You and Gregory, deflowering virgins across the continent. How's the Brit anyways?"

"Being a fucking pussy. Doesn't want to take a mission zat will pay very big money in Yemen. Apparently eet's too dangerous for 'im."

"And that's why he's 'The British Annoyance' today?"

"Actually, zat was because he was 'alf-'oping 'e could join in for a _ménage-a-trois_." He admitted. Something Christophe was in no way interested in doing with his partner. _Maybe_ McCormick, but never Gregory.

"Have you ever considered, Christophe, that maybe he's not interested in me, but in you?"

Apparently it was fucking hilarious to see him looking absolutely horrified, because she didn't stop laughing for almost five minutes.

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _And be the one who catches all your tears ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Kyle hated that he needed to bother his Super Best Friend with this. "Stan... what should I do about sleeping with Vicki?"

"Elaborate dude."

"I love her, you know that. But I don't want to be the bad guy and break up her and Kenny. But I can't let her go without trying either."

Even over the phone, he knew Stan was pinching the bridge of his nose. "Kyle, you can love Vicki as much as Romeo loved Juliet, but that's not going to make her yours if she doesn't love you. And you know that she doesn't; it was just sex."

Just sex. This coming from the guy who had to set up a special date in order to feel like he even deserved to have sex with his girlfriend of four years. "It's never just sex, Stan."

"I think with Vicki, it can be."

"Then what was the point?"

"I don't know dude; maybe there isn't one! Maybe there isn't any point to any of it; you just take the experience and move on. Until you find the girl who you can see yourself marrying, and having kids with, and growing old with. And maybe you'll have to fuck a lot of girls before you find her, and maybe you never will. But you know Vicki isn't her. And all you're gonna do is waste your life if you keep looking for some hidden message of love that isn't there."

It was a harsh message, but he knew his Super Best Friend wasn't going to sugar-coat it, because it wouldn't do him any favours. He needed to hear what his heart kept telling his head to deny; that Vick, the goddess of his dreams, was a lost cause.

"...What do you think's gonna happen when Kenny dies for the last time?"

He could just make out Stan's sigh of mingled relief and worry. He wasn't the only one thinking this was too epic not to be the last time. "Honestly? I think it'll be the apocalypse. But everyone else thinks that's gonna happen in 2012, so I don't really know."

"Even if it's not the End of Days, I think it will destroy Vicki's whole world."

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _That's why I need you to hear ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Cartman could just faintly feel it, stirring within the blackness he was trapped in. The end was near. He hadn't expected to be overthrown by his alter ego when he'd put on the full set of claws, but then again, it wouldn't have been the first time he'd underestimated the power of things he had decided to use without knowing just what they were capable of. Now he was unable to control his own body, or even press a thought up to the surface. This personality—his true one—was too fractured and weak to fight The Coon.

He couldn't help wondering what would happen if The Coon were to get them killed. Would he get a chance to see and hear and feel the world one last time? Or would he even be aware of it? He felt dead already. Like his soul had died, but his body kept living, and was out of his control. Maybe The Coon had killed Cartman. Maybe this was what it felt like to no longer exist... Well if that was the case, it wasn't so bad. At least he could rest, with the fragmented thoughts slowed down to a near standstill.

**

* * *

**

Bet you didn't think we'd hear from Cartman, did you? Not there's much there. I have to admit I'm facinated by Disassociative Identity Disorder, and wonder what happens to the personality that gets supressed. Is it still aware of itself?


	8. Huit

**Officially, this is my favorite chapter. I wrote this story with this chapter in mind.**

* * *

In the back of his mind, The Coon could feel the light stirring that was Cartman. Was he trying to fight through again? It had happened for a moment, just after breaking out of Juvie. He'd wanted to go to Mysterion's tree house, slaughter the bastard while he slept, and rape the shit out of Vicki. But he'd quickly squashed the idiot down. Mysterion would have woken up at the slightest sound outside the tree house, and that was sure to get him caught. And no way was he going back to prison.

So Cartman had been banished to the deepest, darkest vault of his mind, where no shrink, or superhero could ever reach him. And where Cartman could rest. Because as much as he thought the boy was a self-loathing, stupid, crazy, and selfish, he was still the one who'd created him. He was still the one who gave him life, and so he deserved to have peace from himself.

Leaving Jimbo's abandoned bomb shelter, The Coon couldn't help smirking at the sunset. He was probably gonna die tonight. Kenny was definitely going to bleed, and if he placed that shot just right he would never walk again. And even though he'd never be able to fight him, or chase him, the cops were bound to show up, because they were probably on high alert, and they wouldn't hesitate to shoot. So this had to go right.

"C-Coon?"

Whirling around, he saw Butters standing on the edge of Jimbo's property. "What are you doing here, Butters? You know I wouldn't hesitate to dispose of you, right?"

"I-I know. I just came to try to reason with you. Because even if you feel you need revenge... you'd be better off just leaving. You could get out of here, find another town to hide in; start over. And you could let this go so that Vicki and Kenny can just move on with their lives. That's all any of us want."

The kid thought that would work? "I would think you above anyone would understand revenge. After all, that was what Professor Chaos was for; revenge against a world that had rejected you, right? It is out of necessity that we were born, Mysterion, Chaos and I. It's what makes us alike."

"We are nothing alike!" Butters shouted. "Who we are depends on our choices, and I chose to be nothin' like you! I CHOSE TO BE A GOOD PERSON!"

It only took a second, but he grabbed Butters by the throat, and shoved him against the side of Jimbo's shed. "I was a good person. I was the part of Eric Cartman that wanted justice and peace in this town. We have always been two people, blended but still distinct, and I was always fighting Cartman for control. Until he used the power of Cthulhu to corrupt me. I had to wait until his personality was weak enough to break apart from him, but it's too late anyways. I have been corrupted in my purpose, and I know that if Mysterion had never appeared, I would still want to protect this town, not destroy it. That's why I blame him."

He released the blond boy, and let him drop to the ground. "Go home, wait until ten, and then call the police. Tell them that you heard shots fired in the park."

Baby blue eyes widened in fear. "W-why?"

"Because I don't want Mysterion to die. I just want to make him suffer."

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _I found a reason to show ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Mysterion left the house as the last rays of sunlight faded from the sky. The Coon had left a note taped to the tree house—he'd found it that afternoon. 9:45, The Park. He knew The Coon would show, knew he would attack, and knew he wouldn't bother calling the cops. He had lied to Vicki; there was no plan. All he planned to do was let The Coon do to him whatever he wanted, because even if he left him broken and bleeding, he would die from his injuries, and come back in a night or two. And if The Coon got away... so be it. With him, it wasn't about Vicki, so once he'd had his revenge she'd be safe.

And she was safe until then too. She was with The Mole, and despite being a horny French bastard, The Mole was the best Mercenary in the country. If anyone could keep Vicki safe, it would be him. Not that he didn't think Kyle could do it—he wouldn't have left Vicki with him if he didn't—but Kyle couldn't shoot The Coon if he had to. The Mole would do it without even blinking.

"Kenny..." Shit, he'd forgotten about Karen. She'd been playing on their old bike in front of the house. At least she knew about Mysterion; no need to hide it from his little sister.

"Yeah, Kar?"

"I know she means a lot ta ya, but ya mean a lot ta me; you're my big brother." She abandoned the bike on the sidewalk, and grabbed the front of his shirt. "Please come home, Ken. No matter what happens, just make sure ya come home."

He fought the lump building in his throat. This was the Karen he'd loved so much as a kid. The one who cried at his funerals, and would bring him water in bed when he was sick. The one who drew him beautiful pictures, and came crying to him when people teased her about being poor. This was his little sister. Not the Ruby-Tucker-in-training; his sweet little sister.

"I promise I'll come home. I'll come home, and I'll bring Vicki with me, and we'll be as good and normal a family as we can be."

The way her face lit up, he was glad it wasn't a lie. He would come home, with Vicki. And they would be a shitty family, yeah, but it would be the best they could do. And at least they were together. Karen hugged him tightly, burying her face into the M on his chest. "S'long as ya start gaggin' Vicki in the mornin's, that's cool."

He fought the urge to laugh, and disentangled himself from his sister. "I gotta get going, Kar."

She nodded, and Mysterion felt her eyes following him as he took off down the street, heading for the park. It was getting close to the time. The moon was a half-circle in the sky, and the stars were shining dimly in the greyed navy they rested in. This was the kind of night you took your girl to Stark's Pond to make out; not go to face a villain who wanted nothing but to see you suffer. But that's what he was doing.

Entering the park, he noticed The Coon calmly leaning against the basketball hoop. He looked almost the same as the last time he'd seen him, only a little thinner, and dirtier. A lot dirtier. "I'm here, Coon. What do you want from me?"

"I want to know that you're as ruined as I am. And I know death's not gonna do the trick for you, Mysterion."

Before he could so much as move, The Coon had knocked him onto the ground, face shoved in the dirt, and knees digging into his back. "Revenge is hard to get on someone who can never truly die, you know. I thought about destroying Vicki—while he was around, Cartman was very eager for it—but I realized you've put enough resources into protecting her that I could never pull it off. So I was better off figuring out something...outside the box."

Mysterion heard the click of a gun being cocked, and then cold steel was pressing against his upper spine. "I chose this gun especially for the low calibre. So that when this bullet hits your spine, it's gonna pass through your spinal cord, and lodge in the body of your vertebra. And if all goes as planned, Kenneth Samuel McCormick aka Mysterion, you will be left in a bed the rest of your life. Unable to move below the shoulders."

He was going to paralyze him completely. "Oh, and I already have someone calling 911. They'll keep you from dying, you know. And I don't think anyone's going to agree to assisted suicide. Not after what we learned when we were eight, thanks to Stan's fucked up grandpa."

His blood ran cold through his veins as The Coon leaned over to whisper in his ear. "And by the way, say hi to Vicki from Cartman. Tell her I did her the favour of making him dead to the world."

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _A side of me you didn't know ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

"_I'm so sorry guys.._."

Neither Kyle no Christophe had known that Vicki had made a detour on her way over to his house. She'd stopped at the tree house, and found The Coon's note. She knew where they were going to be, and when. And the truth was that no matter what, she wasn't going to stand by and let Kenny get hurt. It was her turn to save him.

When she'd told Kyle the French Mercenary would walk her home, she hadn't been planning to lie. When she'd insisted she was safe to walk home on her own, she lied through her teeth. But nearing the park, she knew it was too important to be here tonight to worry about that. And seeing The Coon crouched over her boyfriend, entirely absorbed in whatever he was doing, she was glad she'd come.

Then his words reached her ears. "Tell her I did her the favour of making him dead to the world."

Without thought, she charged the villain, knocking him off of Kenny's form. A gun clattered across the pavement and into the road. She felt sharp claws graze across her cheek, tearing open the old scar, but she didn't care. "You will NEVER touch us again, YOU BASTARD!"

Behind her, Kenny was yelling something, but she couldn't hear him through the blood rushing in her ears. She was attacking him with flailing fists and tearing nails. His ears were gone, his mask and nose too, and already both eyes were darkening and swelling. Until The Coon gathered enough wits to give her one good shove that knocked the breath out of her, and sent her flying into the street. Her head smacked the ground, and she saw stars.

"MY BEEF ISN'T WITH YOU!" The Coon screamed at her, rounding on Kenny and pulling out a knife. "It's you I want. I may not be able to paralyze you, but I can make it so that no one will be able to look at your face without remembering this night. And not even Vicki will be willing to kiss you."

Vicki tried to pull herself up from the ground. She could hear the wail of sirens, and wondered who'd called the cops. If it was someone nearby, why weren't they helping them? She redoubled her efforts to get the fuck up but her arms kept collapsing beneath her as her vision blacked out. She could just see Kenny and The Coon struggling with the knife, and then her gaze fell on the dark metal object glinting in front of her. The gun. Lying on the pavement, just within reach.

"This one's for you Ken." She breathed. "I love you so much, baby." Grabbing the heavy object in her outstretched hand, she levelled it just as The Coon shoved Kenny away from him. A clear target. Squeezing the trigger, she felt the gun recoil in her hand, but saw The Coon drop. And it was the last thing she saw before she was blinded by the glaring headlights of the oncoming car that was never gonna brake in time. Not that it mattered; Kenny was okay. After all, she could hear him screaming her name...

**

* * *

**

Yes, I am evil.


	9. Neuf

**I'm cruel; I admit it. I chose this chapter to delay updating a few extra days. But it did prove some thing to me...**

* * *

Stan knew it was bad when he saw Kenny in the surgical waiting room, staring blankly at the wall in front of him, tear tracks streaked down his face. Kenny hadn't cried in a long, long time. Not since they were kids. And he certainly didn't shut down and stare at things anymore. It was Vicki who had taught him not to do that. Sitting beside him, Stan reached out to touch his arm, and Kenny flinched. "Dude?"

"She's probably going to die." His voice was emotionless and hollow. "They didn't say anything, but I know. She looked worse than I did the time I set my fart on fire."

"But this time they're not going to screw up, because she's not you. You have all the bad luck, Kenny. You're the one who dies. Vicki's the one who lives."

"There's only so much living a person can do, though, Stan. She's mortal."

He didn't really know how to respond to that. "Vicki is a fighter."

Kenny jerked his head to look at him, and Stan felt the burning pain in his eyes. "And that's what got her like this! She took on The Coon knowing he had super powers, and even though she saved me, she ended up thrown into the street. And then do you know what she did, Stan? She picked up the gun and shot him, just before getting hit by the car. She saved me twice tonight, and now I can't save her. I have to sit out here and I've never felt so goddamn helpess!"

The tears were falling thick and fast, and Kenny angrily swiped them away with the dirty sleeve of his bloody shirt. "If she dies...I'm gonna kill Kyle, and Christophe. They were supposed to protect her."

"They tried." Stan reminded him. "They tried to keep her safe, but Vicki just wanted to protect you for once."

"...Cartman's dead. Vicki made the shot lying on the ground, in the street, but she hit him right between the eyes. And the thing is, it wasn't even Cartman in that body. The Coon had split himself so much from Cartman's personality, he had it locked up in the back of his mind—already dead to the world."

Stan wasn't sure how he felt about this news. Cartman had always been an annoying, antagonistic bastard growing up. And sometimes they couldn't really remember why he was their friend. But he had been their friend. And even though he'd gone completely psychotic by the end... Stan had felt sorry for him. But did he feel sorry he was dead?

"...Sometimes I almost forget he used to be our friend. And then I remember something good...and I miss him"

Kenny tilted his head to rest against the chair-back and sighed. "I look at it this way; he's in Hell, with about 99.6% of the dead people, and he's probably the clearest he's ever been down there. Even though Damien is probably sodomizing his fat ass."

Stan couldn't help the tiny smile that appeared as he remembered Damien turning Kenny into a platypus. "I always thought he was kinda gay."

"Damien, or Cartman?"

"Both."

The creak of the door made them both look up, and Kyle and Christophe entered the waiting room, pale-faced and anxious. "Any word yet?" Kyle asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"Not yet." Stan replied. Christophe swore in French, and moved to stand near the window, glaring out into the inky night.

Standing up, Kenny stepped right in front of Kyle so they were nose to nose. "If she dies... remember that I did everything I could to protect her. You didn't."

Kyle nodded, and they both sat, neither of them able to look at the other for more than a few seconds. Ten or so minutes later, Butters slipped in without a word to anyone, then after an hour, Wendy and Bebe arrived and they joined him in quietly crying in the corner. Stan thought about getting up to comfort his girlfriend, but realized it would be useless when he could barely comfort himself.

Finally at almost three, a doctor came in, wearing the blue scrubs of a resident.

"Vicki's alive. It's touch and go, but she's alive."

Kenny let out a sigh of relief, and everyone visibly relaxed just a bit. Stan unclenched fists he'd didn't even know he'd made, and was mildly shocked to see red crescent welts on his palms. "When can we see her?" Butters asked quietly.

"Until she's stable and awake, we're only allowing her emergency contact to see her. She listed Kenny on the emancipation paperwork. But I want to warn you all that there are some things you need to know."

She sat down across from Kenny, Stan and Kyle. "Vicki had major head trauma when she was brought in, and she coded on the operating table. Her heart stopped, and her brain wasn't getting oxygen for almost five minutes. We won't know until she wakes up, but Vicki may have brain damage."

Stan felt his heart skip a beat, then give a resounding thud. _Brain damage?_ That meant she might not be able to walk, or talk, or see, or know who they were. She might not know who Kenny was...

"I understand." Kenny said calmly. "If that's the case, we'll help her as much as we can."

Instead of looking as panicked and afraid as Stan felt, at that moment Kenny looked pulled together. Like Mysterion always did. And that was when it clicked what Mysterion had that the rest of them didn't. Maturity. Right now, Kenny was like an adult.

The doctor nodded, and stood to leave. "If you want, Kenny, you can come and see her now."

He didn't even hesitate. "Take me to her."

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _A reason for all that I do ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Vicki was first conscious that she was alive. Because if she'd been in Heaven or Hell, she would have been able to open her soul's eyes and see around her right away, right? Instead, her eyelids felt like they were made of lead, and crusted together. And then she tried to move her arm and it hit her; a wave of bone-deep pain. She felt like one giant bruise. Like a sick animal. Like she'd been—

She'd been hit by a car. She'd shot at The Coon, and then she'd been hit by a car. Even though Kenny had tried to reach her in time... Kenny. Was he alright? Shit, she'd barely been conscious two minutes and already her mind was full and whizzing. Whizzing, whirring, hissing...

No, that was the oxygen. She could feel the tube in her nose, now that the initial pain had dimmed. Could feel the rough plaster of casts coating her left arm and both legs, and bandages wrapped tight around her torso. And a quick pull of her cheek muscles reminded her that yes, The Coon had ripped her scar wide open, and she was back to stitches in her face. And now probably all over her body.

Finally, with a little effort, she cracked her eyes open, and then wished she hadn't. The glare of white hospital lights hurt her eyes, and the only thing to break the monochromatic room... was a head of blonde hair resting on the bed beside her good hand. Gritting her teeth against the pain, Vicki reached out with a trembling hand, and nestled her fingertips among those unearthly gold locks. Until Kenny raised his head, and met her gaze.

"Vic..."

He looked like death warmed over, with dark circles around his eyes, and ghastly pale cheeks. He looked like the one who ought to have been hooked up to the oxygen and monitors.

Swallowing thickly, she decided to give speech a go. "How bad was it?"

"Two broken tibias, a broken femur, a broken ulna, six broken ribs, a fractured skull, a dislocated shoulder, a punctured lung, a torn liver, a torn pericardium, a mangled kidney, and they thought you'd have brain damage." If there was one thing Kenny knew pretty damn well, it was injuries.

"...Ask me something."

"What's my full name?"

Too easy. "Kenneth Samuel McCormick."

He nodded, smiling. "What happened to your boyfriend before me?"

"Abducted by a pedophile and murderer who held Matt a month before killing him the night I decided I wanted to be with you." Vicki frowned just a tiny bit, remembering. Matt had been too young to die like that...

"What did I ask you to do the day before you were hit by a car?"

"You asked me to sleep with Kyle."

She didn't have brain damage. Well, not in the memory part of her brain. But they wouldn't know about the physical until she could get up and move and walk... "Kenny, I'm sorry I came to the park—"

He cut her off. "I should be the one who's sorry. I'm the one who got us into that mess. I'm the one that The Coon wanted, because I'm the one who took over as South Park's vigilante, and got all the fame and glory that came with it the first time. And I should have known you wouldn't stand by and let me get hurt."

"Or die."

At that, Kenny shrugged. "I always die."

"But do you know what it does to me?" Vicki asked. "It tears me apart inside, because there's no guarantee when or if you're coming back. It could be a day, a week, a month, a year... or never again. And I don't want to lose you before we've had a real life together..."

She could feel the drugs starting to pull her back into the world of sleep, but Vicki fought it to listen to Kenny. "If it tears you apart, then why are you still with me?"

Did he really have to ask?

"Because I..." Her eyes fell closed against her will. "...because I love you..."

ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ _And the reason is you ϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰϰ_

Kenny watched Vicki sleep again, thinking about what she'd said. She went through having her heart torn apart by grief and worry... because she loved him. He really meant that much to her. She had attacked a super villain armed with a gun, without any weapon other than her own hands and feet. And then she had shot him—shot him so cleanly that the cops who had witnessed it didn't know what to make of it. They'd asked him over and over if he was _sure _Vicki had been the one to shoot Cartman.

The hand in his tightened unconsciously, and Vicki sighed in her sleep. She had technically died for him, even if it had only been for five minutes. Maybe that made them even; he'd died for her, she'd died for him. And they were both still here somehow, even if it was just by the skin of their teeth. But looking at her now, cheek sewn up, eyebrow butterfly-taped, half her face bruised... he couldn't help feeling a little proud of her.

"She's asleep still?" Kyle asked softly, appearing in the doorframe. They'd let him into her room after Kenny had explained that Vicki had been staying with him.

"She woke up for a bit, but the drugs kinda put her out again."

Sitting on the other side of the bed, Kyle light grasped onto the hand half-covered in a heavy plaster cast. "I realized a couple of days ago, that if it had been me in your place, Vicki wouldn't have tried to save me alone. She would have gone for help, or gotten you. Because she—"

"Doesn't love you." Kenny finished the thought for him. Kyle didn't need to explain anything. He'd worked it all out between the moment she'd been hit, and the moment Vicki had opened her eyes. She'd once told him, when he'd asked about the month before she'd moved, that there were five distinct stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

He'd told himself that Vicki had gone between the car's wheels, and that it only looked worse than it was. Then he'd been sitting in the waiting room alone, so angry at Kyle and Christophe for letting her go, Vicki for trying to be the hero, and himself for not locking her up tight away from the world or something... Then the bargaining with God, which was stupid because if anyone knew how God really worked it was him... Waiting for those long days by her side, Kenny had never felt more depressed in his life, even though he didn't show it; the idea that Vicki wouldn't be _his Vicki_ had been almost too much. But then she'd woken up, and he'd finally accepted that she loved him, and wasn't going anywhere.

"She doesn't love you, because when Vicki gives her heart away, she gives all of it, and until a couple of days ago, I wasn't ready to have all of it. I wanted to know that she had a safety net—someone she could fall back on. But that's not how being in love works, dude. It's all or nothing."

Kyle nodded. "... Do you think maybe now that I'm getting over her, I could have something with Bebe? 'Cause she's actually gotten to be pretty cool..."

"Dude, you're gonna need Bebe. 'Cause sex is just another drug—"

"—And now that I've had a taste, I'll never wanna quit."

They both laughed, and Vicki stirred on the bed between them. "M'tryin' t'sleep, fucktards..." She mumbled, before falling back into unconsciousness.

Looking away from his girlfriend, Kenny couldn't help returning the smile Kyle sent his way. This was how it was supposed to be. There were the ones meant to be there when Vicki woke up.

**

* * *

**

Was it worth the wait?


	10. Dix Epilogue

**Okay, so I've only ever heard of one promise ceremony. Aparently my friend Josh's parents had one when they were teenagers (I think he said sixteen) and it was this nice thing they did to promise their families and friends they'd always be together. And they still are.**

* * *

For something everyone insisted wasn't a wedding, Stan couldn't help feeling that this was some sort of wedding. It had been three months since Cartman had died, two and a half months since Vicki had been let out of the hospital, and about a week since she'd been able to start walking around again. So now they were all gathered together on the last weekend of September, with Kenny and Vicki up at the front, with Christophe holding out the Bible between them, ready for them to make their promises.

Bebe and Wendy had been going on about this promise ceremony since Vicki first told them about her chat with Christophe. They, of course, had decided to take things about ten steps further than she had planned, by making everyone dress up, and then they had all chipped in to get Vicki a promise ring. Christophe had slapped a hundred dollar bill into the pot with nothing more than a grunt of "_Pour un diamante"._

So now they were standing up there—Vicki in a light green dress Bebe had made for her, and Kenny in Stan's old suit he'd grown out of with a two month growth spurt—and they were beaming at each other as Christophe cleared his throat as a motion for silence.

"We are 'ere today, to witness Kenny and Victoire's promise to each ozer, zat zey will always be togezer. And when zey are old enough, will make it legal. Preferably before zey start popping out keeds."

Vicki let out a slight giggle, as Kenny placed his hand flat on the Bible. "Vicki Monroe, I promise I will always love you, and only you. And I will protect you with every ounce of life I've got. Because you're the one that makes it worth living."

Vicki placed her hand next to Kenny's. "Kenny McCormick, I promise I will always love you, and to always be there. Whether it's waking up next to you in the morning, or letting you cheat off me in Geography. Because I'm gonna treasure every moment we have together."

Pulling out the gold ring with the quarter carat solitaire Kenny had chosen with the money his friends had given them, he slipped it onto Vicki's left ring finger. She pulled him into a passionate, heated kiss... and then Craig had to open up his mouth. "So do we party before or after they fuck?"

Vicki flipped him the finger next to her new ring. "Fuck you, Craig."

They broke apart as Token popped the cork on the champagne, and sprayed it over the crowd, and everyone started screaming and laughing as they were covered in the light, foamy alcohol. Bebe hit the iPod dock laying in the grass, and Pink started basting through the speakers as everyone cracked open beers and started to dance.

"Stan..." Wendy was pulling on his elbow, drawing him away from the crowd. She looked good today, all dressed up. He caught her around the waist with his arms.

"What could such a fine young woman want with me?"

She giggled, smoothing out the lapels of his suit and straightening his tie. "Well I was thinking that Vicki's still not up to climbing up to the tree house yet, and they really wouldn't notice if we slipped away..."

Stan kissed her deeply, before she grabbed his wrist and started pulling him down the path. The sounds of '_Get The Party Started_' fading the deeper they went. He was _so_ ready for this. The tree house was just a little ways ahead...

"..._ugh...Kyle..!"_

That stopped them dead in their tracks. Bebe was up there with Kyle? Stan couldn't help it; he needed to break this one up. "KYLE YOU FUCKTARD, YOU DITCHED YOUR BEST FRIEND'S PARTY TO FUCK BEBE?"

A mop of blonde curls appeared at the open window. "YES, AND GODDAMNIT STAN, I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS FOR NOT LETTING HIM FINISH ME IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY!"

Wendy shrugged, and started pulling him away. "C'mon Stan; we can just go to my house. My parents are gone."

"But they-"

Wendy shut him up with a kiss. "Empty house, no parents, and we can even do it in the hot tub."

"...Why are we still here?"

**Okay, so maybe not the best ending... but I blame it on knowing this _isn't_ the end! My final installment will be up in 2 days, my darlings.**

**"You Said Forever."**


End file.
